Improving one's 'spirit' through study and practice

It's an almost uncanny experience to learn more about myself through the study of martial arts. I had a breakthrough realization about my attitude towards sparring, and I realize now that it was pre-mature and needed further development.

As I had written earlier, I was pretty hard on myself and competitive - the thought of throwing a sempai would be sign of achievement. But when I look back at that attitude, I reflect on how it doesn't seem to be servicing. And I think that attitude now was more of raw effort to help myself distinguish progress and achievement. And with that, I suddenly realize that what I really must do is simply go back to the syllabus, study the requirements, review the techniques and keep polishing. I have much on the green belt plate to cover to guide progress.

Speaking of this attitude adjustment, I feel like my spirit develops as well. I'm not sure what most people think "spirit" means - it's one of those funny words that has many interpretations. But I like to think of "spirit" as something that includes "ones attitude" and its maturation. And I feel glad that I increase my awareness of how I am and how I can improve.

on side note:
I finally updated my spreadsheet of techniques. it needs to be beautified, but i'm a bit embarrassed to upload as i'm not sure it'll make sense to anyone ( i used abbreviations all over). but the spreadsheet project was a good one to do. i have now a visual layout of techniques..