tired + blind + thoughts

added info to previous blogs
-fwd punch, overhead strike

thoughts
Sometimes one has to overcome the mind to go workout - even coming to dojo. I have been wiped out all week. I was blind. And yet, I came -particularly to get stuff from sempai adi. But it was a good test to stay on track.

Then I got a good forward punch in the stomach by Sensei Coleman, which was the first for me. I don't think anyone in the dojo has socked me so well, if at all! And you know, this is good. Because Sensei Maria said last year that the body needs to get "used to being" hit and not get so alarmed, because no matter how you're hit, you're actually OK. And I think about really staying mentally focussed, if I get hit. I guess this takes practice and time.

I realize also that I don't fully understand why the "diaphragm" should always be down. I don't understand the difference and benefits.

life
over the camping trip, the sempais and i talked about many life issues revolving around dojo/martial arts. we talked about social lives, dating, personal values, etc. it opened a window of thoughts that i have not had, like why i'm doing jujitsu, why another is doing jujitsu and what one can one do to make a balanced life work. i look back at the conversations - and they feel unnatural to me now. like I can rationalize and give many reasons of this and that, and they are probably accurate, part of a whole, but it is not a totality. Now when I think about all the reasons why I'm doing jujitsu and how a lovelife, new business, artistic life will workout, I feel like I am not growing and this mental process of generating reasons/problem solving is not helping me. Building lists of reasons could hardly express or encompass the joy and wakening of spirit when I'm in the dojo - and it's the experience -the mind, body, spirit thang that keeps me going.

Yes there are reasons why I joined, why I go and issues revolving around training and real life, but I find it very unnatural to explain and think about it all, to give reasons and search for answers for this and that. So I'd rather just flow and go with my gut instinct. No need to think so much about it - for me at least. I just don't feel like I grow otherwise.